Above average

I've been out of high school for 10 years and college for nearly six, and I'm starting to notice through Facebook that people I knew in high school who got married straight outta college are starting to get divorced. Yes, we're there, folks. We made it through the stage where everybody got married, then the stage where people started having babies (I have several friends who are on their second child/pregnancies -- mazel tov!). And now people are starting to get divorced. (And here I am, the unmarried, unmotherly nonconformist :)

I just Googled 'average length of marriage.' Fun fact: when you start typing in 'average length of ...' in the Google box, the first four suggestions in order are: intercourse, marriage, menstrual cycle and college football game. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you America. Anyway, the Google couldn't give me a straight answer. I saw everything from seven years to 24 years as the average length of marriage.

The Modern Parents celebrated their 30th yesterday. So even if 24 is the real average length of marriage, they're still above average. And they are.

I laughed when the Modern Mom told me what they were doing yesterday to celebrate: The Modern Dad had to work late so he just requested some of the MM's Weight Watchers-recipe taco soup. He wanted to save his calories for when they go out to celebrate at their favorite Italian restaurant later in the week. She surprised him anyway with his favorite dessert, a chocolate pie. Pearls weren't the gift of choice, as is the traditional suggestion. Instead, they got a new mattress a few weeks ago. Heh.

I neglected to ask either of them yesterday what it's taken to get them here. The MD has said before that having things in common is a way better gig than opposites attract, and they do enjoy many of the same activities like reading, traveling and watching sports (gee, where do I get it from?). I imagine they'd also say hard work, a good sense of humor and lots and lots of tolerance.

Updates here and there

Thanks for all of your comments on Friday's post, and a big thank you to Noelle who totally placed that quote for me as being from Six Feet Under (that had been driving me crazy for a long time).

My cousin made it through surgery successfully. The doctor thinks she got all the tumor, but the tumor did turn out to be malignant. That means a future of chemo and radiation for my cousin.

His spirits apparently are good. His dad reported a day after the surgery that he was "acting like a 15-year-old boy," which for once he was relieved of. I have no doubt my cousin will be a trooper through all this, I just hope the rest of our family can have the same kind of attitude.
____________________________________________________

Now for an update on my life, I suppose. Life is good. I'm plugging away through my busy season and doing a little bit better of managing it than I did last year. (The busy season is still young, though.) I was a little better prepared for it this year, so I haven't had as many problems crop up, which is good. I'm also going into work later because there's hardly ever a chance of me leaving work early. That's helped me have a little more personal time in the morning. I run errands, I read e-mails and I'm even beginning to read blogs again. Woot!

The Modern Fella is good at keeping me balanced in what little time we get to spend together (his teaching schedule and my work schedule greatly conflict). Our ideas of down time seem to go well together -- sit on the couch and watch football (and scream at our fantasy teams) or an episode (or two or three) of How I Met Your Mother or going for a bike ride around the 'hood. I'd venture to say I'm even crazier about him now AND he's passed the parentals/best friend test, so that's always a big bonus.

The one thing I'm not doing well is keeping an eye on my eating habits. This time last year I was a strict calorie counter, and I actually managed to lose weight while being so busy. This year I've been succumbing to eating while stressed out more and more. I'm not planning on another triathlon until probably the spring, when I'll have a little more time to stick to a regimented training schedule, so in the mean time I'm trying to force myself to train for some mythical tri in my head. Because I'd rather be able to eat what I want than have to go back to strict calorie counting day in and day out.

I guess that's everything that's going on. Like I said, I'm working to get caught up on all of your blogs, but in the mean time, tell me what you've been up to!

When times are tough

Yesterday was a day of bad news. A friend of mine who was in her second trimester found out she'd lost her baby and had to have surgery. My cousin was found to have a brain tumor and is currently undergoing surgery.

My friend is ok, health-wise, but I know she and her husband are grieving right now. We're awaiting word on my cousin, though the Modern Dad says these things are never good when they show up in a 15-year-old.

I'm not so naive as to say 'These things don't happen to my family.' I will say that these kind of things haven't happened to my family much during my lifetime. I've been very lucky in that regard. My family is close-knit and my cousin has been a really healthy kid 'til now, so I know everyone is struggling with the news.

I don't know why I'm writing about it now, other than writing is my coping method. I guess it's always good to be reminded that life is precious. There's a line from a movie or a book that I love to reference but can never remember where it's from (perhaps Moonstruck? An awesome movie about family and love that everyone should see): 'Why does God allow death (or bad things in this case)?' 'To make life more important.'

I suppose it's an especially timely reminder on the anniversary of the Sept. 11 tragedies. Make sure your loved ones know they are loved. Support them both when they need it and when they don't.

Also, don't worry about me, but do please keep my friend and family members in your thoughts and prayers (if that's the way you roll). I know I don't talk much about my faith on here, but I will say that I don't pray for things to get better in cases like this because I know not everyone who is not well can get better. I do pray that everyone can find comfort and strength when times are tough.

Love you all.

Happy long weekend

I'm off, Modern Friends, for a four-day weekend in Memphis where I will participate in the wedding festivities of my 51-year-old uncle (his first marriage). As Modern Roxy mentioned yesterday, this should be the subject of a reality show. My uncle is the youngest of 11 children and most of them and many of their spouses and children will be there to witness. And he's marrying a woman who's got (I think) nearly as many siblings. And it's a Catholic wedding. I'm sure there will be stories to tell, so hang tight.

No, this gnome will not be there, however I feel this photo conveys just how crazy the weekend will be.

Have a lovely Memorial Day weekend if I don't catch up with you sooner.

The ties that bind

Mother's Day is almost here. Have you been a good modern daughter and son and made plans? Sadly I won't get to spend Sunday with the Modern Mom, but I hope spending all of last week with her helps make up for that.

Real Simple had an interesting article about mother-daughter relationships in its e-mail newsletter the other day, explaining the different ways mothers and daughters relate to one another and the good and bad that come with those relationships. I'd say my relationship with my own mother sorta falls in between some of their categories.

So how do you all celebrate Mother's Day with your moms or your kids?

Hope your Easter doesn't bite

The Modern Mom is awesome. Exhibit 1, the Easter card she sent me:


The interior message says, 'Hope your Easter doesn't bite.' The MM has a talent in selecting greeting cards, and she takes that talent seriously.

Exhibit 2: She didn't send anything that resembled an Easter basket or Easter candy, for which I'm eternally grateful. I'd rather spend my splurging calories on a nice dinner than on an chocolate bunny -- eating chocolate bunnies make me sad because they're so cute (but not so sad I don't do it). I can also eat a whole bag of Starburst jelly beans in one sitting, and that makes my waistline sad.

Instead, my 'Easter basket' was a Target gift card. Since I'm apparently 'too old' for Easter egg hunting,* I can satisfy my need for a thrilling hunt by finding just what it is I can't live without from the big red bullseye.

Happy Easter, everyone! Even if you don't find the holiday religiously stimulating, I hope you at least have a nice brunch, or something.

*I've always been a huge fan of the Easter egg hunt. When I was younger, I used to get my basket of plastic eggs out of the closet as much as two months before Easter just because I could not wait to seek out those colorful eggs. It really is all about the hunt. Also, I really don't think I'm too old.

Live texting the game

For my love of sports I can blame my parents. Both of them are die-hard baseball, football and basketball fans and without the blessing of any other children, all their fandom got concentrated within me.

This afternoon a team that my family loves and I hold a vested interest in played in its first-round NCAA tournament. My dad was at work so my mom watched it at home with cell phone in hand. For much of the season, we've watched games together in this very capacity ... she in Memphis, I in Knoxville, with a string of text messages covering the 400 miles in between.

Today got a little hairy thanks to a nailbiter of a game.

Modern Mom: "Are you getting any work done?"
Modern Gal: "I contend this IS work."
MM: "Keep telling yourself that."
MG: "Free throws? What a concept!"
MM: "Really!"
MG: "It's the team we know and love. Or at least know."
MM: "I need to quit yelling at the TV."
MG: "It's OK. No one's listening."
MM: "What the sh__" (yes, she abbreviated that because the MM is a lady)
MG: "Well that blew."
MM: "Yep."

The Modern Dad's new girlfriend

This story may only be funny to two people who read this blog, so if those of you who don't know the Modern Dad don't think it's funny, please accept my apologies. I often lose perspective of how (un)weird or (un)funny my family is to the outside world.

The other night I was lounging on the couch taking in a Turner Classic Movie screening of one of my favorites, The Philadelphia Story, starring Modern Gal Hall of Famer Katharine Hepburn, when my phone rang. Caller ID said it was the Modern Dad calling. I'd been avoiding talking to him on the phone for a day or two because I knew he and some other family members had participated in a trivia contest over the weekend, and when the MD does a trivia contest (which is fairly often given my family's pursuit of trivial things), I usually have the pleasure of getting a blow-by-blow recap on the phone the next day. Also, there are no short phone conversations with the MD.

But, because it was 10:30 p.m. -- rather late for a chatty call from him -- and because I have an uncle in waning health, I figured I'd better answer.*

MD: Your mom told me you were avoiding me because you didn't want to hear all the trivia questions from the other night. I'd hate to burden you with the questions, so don't worry, you won't hear a single one.
Curses. Foiled by the Modern Mom.
MG: I wouldn't dare avoid you or your trivia questions, Dad.
MD: Well, I was just calling just to tell you we didn't do nearly as good in this contest because we we didn't have as many people as the other teams. Also, no sports category. Can you believe that?
MG: No sports? Bummer. I guess Uncle T pulled some dead weight. And not playing at full capacity? I'm sorry I missed out.
MD: So what are you doing?
MG: I'm watching The Philadelphia Story.
I thought that maybe because he was the one to introduce me to both classic films and my favorite queen of sass he'd take a hint and let me call him the next day.
MD: Oh yeah! There was a whole category on the Oscars. We got about seven or eight of those. We couldn't come up with the youngest Best Actor award winner. I knew it was the guy who ran up on stage and kissed Halle Berry.
MG: Adrien Brody. The Pianist.
MD: Right! I kept giving everyone hints, but no one got it. We got the oldest Best Actor. Do you know that one?
MG: I'm guessing Henry Fonda 'cause he was pretty dang old when he won for On Golden Pond.
MD: That's right. We also couldn't get the most recent musical to win Best Picture.
MG: Well let's ...
MD: It was Chicago.
MG: Well now you didn't even give me time to think.
MD: So do you know this gal Katharine McPhee?
MG: Um, well I don't know her know her, but I think she was on American Idol a few years back?
MD: Well she's my new love. I was watching the latest Boston Pops special. Chris Botti was playing, you know how much I love his stuff, and he just had all these people join him, like Yo-Yo Ma and Sting and Steven Tyler and then Katharine McPhee came out and sang "I've Got You Under My Skin," and you know how much I love that song. And she had this little short black dress on. She's my new girlfriend.
MG: I'll be sure to tell Mom.

*Conversation abridged to save time for us all

This apparently was the performance that captured the MD's heart:

In defense of Valentine's Day

Even before Modern Allie left her fantastic comment on my Monday post about Valentine's Day, I was still planning a preachy post about the day. Well, guess what? You get the preachy post anyway. Please note, you're allowed to disagree with me here.

So I should be complaining about the impending reminder that my boyfriend and I broke up and I'm lacking a bit in the romantic love department while every who isn't lacking puts their love on parade for me to see, right?

'Eh,' I say, while shrugging.

Once upon a time, I was all into bashing Valentine's Day -- or Singles' Awareness Day, as I so proudly proclaimed with the rest of my single brethren. The aforementioned high school sweetheart had dumped me like three days before V-Day, presumably so he wouldn't have to participate. 'Boys suck,' I said, declaring myself through with them for good. Glad that feeling didn't last too long.

But, I've learned a very important lesson about Valentine's Day in the years since. The years that I had a boyfriend to spend the day with, the celebration of Valentine's Day was usually just ok. A few years it was GREAT! But most of the time it was good but nothing special. Sure, it was nice to go out for a nice dinner or get pretty flowers, but I never felt any different about my loved one on that day compared to any other day of the year.

You know what Valentine's Days I remember most fondly? The one I spent with some of my best gal pals, eating Thai food and drinking ourselves silly. Or the one spent with the Wednesday Night Dinner group -- five gals and one guy (lucky him) -- spent eating good food and laughing our heads off. You know what Valentine's Day gift I've treasured most? The silly rainbow colored stuffed lion my mom gave me many years back that's still squished between the windshield and dashboard of my car.

And here's the lesson: Valentine's Day is best spent when it's celebrating just plain ol' love. Familial love, friendship, romantic love, the love I have for my Lucydog (I think that's what's called unconditional love?), whatever. Why should it be exclusive to romantic love and flowers? According to Wikipedia, it's Chaucer's fault for some reason, which is a shame because I love his work otherwise.

This year I'm celebrating the love everyone has shown me in the past two months when I've needed it the most, and I've had no problems getting into Valentine's Day. I had so much fun picking out a card for one of my single gal pals. I can't wait to open my mom's Valentine's goody box that just came in the mail today. Or the card that arrived bearing Lucy's name on the return address (she has mysteriously similar handwriting to my mother's -- and without thumbs!). And I'm spending Saturday evening, yes, with a guy friend so we can have some fun instead of moping about the fact that we're single. (Which, by the way, there were some great suggestions for activities. I appreciate all them all very much).

You know what all of that is a recipe for? A Valentine's Day that I might count among the most memorable.

There's also one other kind of love to remember on Valentine's Day. One that makes all those other kinds of loves possible. One that Modern Whitney proudly proclaimed as the greatest of all. Sing it with me now ...



Don't lie. You know you love that song.

Ok, I'm off my heart-shaped soapbox for now.

Eternal optimism of the spotless life

I told y'all that the Modern Mom would get my life back in order this weekend, and did she ever. I am typing this post from my spotless living room. The bookshelves have been dusted, the coffee table scrubbed and the carpets ... wait for it ... completely steam cleaned. My cream-colored carpet had turned an unpleasant shade of spotty brown thanks to mud tracks, basted dog treats and the aftermath of Lucydog's romp through my chocolate stash a few months ago -- which included both ground bits of chocolate and dog vomit ground into the carpet.

On Friday we scrubbed everything from top to bottom: countertops, shelves, tables, carpet, bathrooms. Everything. I washed and hung my laundry. Today, we rented one of those Rug Doctor contraptions from the grocery and steamed the carpets. I've been planning on doing this for more than a month now, but knowing my love of cleaning comes from my mother, I figured she wouldn't mind helping. I seriously cannot begin to express how big of a difference the carpet cleaning made.

I swear we didn't spend the whole weekend cleaning. A friend of mine who is wrapping up her studies at beauty school gave us half-priced facials. I think there's only one thing in the world better than a facial, and that's a half-priced facial. We went to the nearby factory outlet stores, where my mother the enabler egged me on to spend waaaaaay too much money on several lovely new outfits and pairs of shoes. We went to a basketball game. I worked while she spent some time at the local bookstore. We went to church. We ate out. We ate in. And it was all very, very good.

I don't know if its the spotlessly clean house or all the honest talks or just the time spent with one of the people whom I love most, but I feel restored and renewed in a way that no day at the spa could have achieved. I've had a couple of moments of panic, but they've been totally work-related (does this mean I'm back to normal?)

I feel ready to get back to the life I was living before Jan. 3 ... except I'm ready to make it better. I'm ready to simplify my life as I resolved to do on New Year's. I'm ready to have new adventures. Meet new people. Learn new things. Maybe even find love ... again.

I sincerely hope I can harness this feeling and energy and put it to work. I'm sure the setbacks aren't over, but I want to be able to work through them quickly so that I can focus on living my new life to the absolute fullest.

The Modern Mom returns

Don't forget to enter the Starbucks mug giveaway. If you're lucky and you win, your mug might just come with a special surprise. And as an inauguration special, I won't even require you to tell me a joke in the comment -- just leave me any random comment. I'll delay the drawing by a day just to give y'all some extra time.

I'm pleased to announce The Modern Mom is coming to town tomorrow to spend an extended weekend with The Modern Gal. This was the best weekend we could workout in the post-breakup aftermath. I was a little worried her presence wouldn't be as necessary at this point in my recovery, but as it turns out I think it's a perfect time for her to be here.

The MM is really awesome at getting one's life in order. Really she should be a life coach, marketing to people who don't want the cheerleadery stuff, just someone who's uber-organized. She will no doubt whip my life back into shape -- she'll push me to workout, she'll make sure I'm eating well, she'll send me to bed early and get me up at a reasonable hour -- and somehow, she'll make it all seem fun, and I probably won't want her to leave on Monday morning.

We've already got facials planned with my friend who's studying at beauty school right now. I also foresee a trip to the local outlet mall and a few mind-clearing long walks.

Anyway, what I'm saying is the blogging likely will be light around here for the next few days. I'm not specifically seeking out guest bloggers, but if anyone feels they need a medium for their writing that is consistent with Modern Values, your guest post will have a home here. Just e-mail.

Love you all!

Merry Christmas from The Modern Gal

Merry Christmas or happy whatever holiday you choose to observe, Modern Friends. I hope it's colorful and bright!


I'm writing this post in the wee hours of Christmas morning after a beautiful Midnight Mass with the Modern Mom, the Modern Beau, the Modern Beau and the Modern Mom in Law. After a long winter's nap with the Modern Dog, the Modern Parents and I will get up to have an indulgent breakfast, open gifts, perhaps take another long winter's nap and have the extended family over for dinner, which will apparently NOT consist of Honeybaked Ham, at my father's request (so much for tradition), but instead a smoked pig shoulder (still delish). Mi tia Latina will be bringing her traditional Christmas tamales as well, ole!

I hope wherever you are, whatever you're doing, this post finds you as happy and content as I am at this moment. Love to you all.

The Modern Mom needs a hobby

... or why I have an occasional shopping problem.

Setting: Me, in the office, looking at my Treo at a four-hour-old text message from the Modern Mom that reads: Call me on my cell when you get a few minutes.

I dial The MM on the phone.
MM: Yo.
MG: Yo. Is there some way I can be of assistance? (yes, this is really how we talk to one another)
MM: Oh, it's too late now. I was at Macy's, taking part in one of those rare (sarcasm) One-Day Sales that they have.
MG: Yes, I'm aware. Macy's advertises on my local TV stations, even thought we don't have one in town. It's absolute TORTURE.
MM: That is torture. Well, I wanted to take advantage of the sale to buy you a new purse like you wanted for Christmas, but I couldn't remember exactly what brand you were looking at, so I thought I'd just call.
MG: Sorry, I just noticed I had a text from you.
MM: It's ok, but since I couldn't remember which kind of purse you wanted, I had to do something with myself so I bought myself a few things.
MG: Naturally.

Because I couldn't have said it better myself.

Noelle Tannenbaum has alerted our little corner of the blogworld that it's National Singles Week. I would write my own drawn-out post about it, but she makes so many wonderful points that I think you should just read her post. And the article she linked to.

I will be celebrating. Yes, I'm well aware that I'm in a relationship with The Modern Beau, thus making me not single. Really, we are single because if I try to combine my income tax return with his I'm pretty sure the government will put its collective foot down on that. We've been dating for nearly five years now, and I'm completely OK with the fact that we're not married. We're having a hell of a time just being right now. We've seen several friends marry into an unhappy relationship, and the MB will probably be the first to tell you that the MG needs her alone time like Ben needs Jerry. Sure, we'll probably end up getting married at some point and when we do we'll throw a hell of a party. But for now, we've got a wonderful thing and I'd never want for more.

My favorite point in the article is this: Single people are shorted on the 1,136 federal benefits, protections, and privileges that are available only to people who are legally married. Seriously, that sucks. Also, I appreciate the point that "alone doesn't mean lonely."

Now don't take this as judgment of those of you whom are married. I do still want to have my own family at some point, so I'm not rejecting marriage and family. Those of you I keep up with seem to be very happy which means you did marriage the right way. Unfortunately, there are so many of your peers who didn't take the time to make the right decision.

One last thing. I'm going to preempt Vanessa and mention the QuirkyAlone movement, which promotes the notion that individuals shouldn't be in a relationship for the sake of it.

Happy 4th, y'all

The Modern Gal is, in fact, patriotic:

Oh, and a history lesson. You know rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air which happened to give proof through the night that our flag was still there?

Said bomb launchers:
That would be the Modern Dad contemplating his status as alive or dead at Fort McHenry, MD, inspiration to Francis Scott Key and his Star Spangled Banner. Don't do it MD! You have so much to live for!

Enjoy your hamburgers and fireworks!

The $100,000 Pyramid

You have 60 seconds. For $10,000, go:

untangled paperclips ...
binder clips ...
ribbon ...
shoelaces.

Give up?

The answer is: Things the Modern Mom and the Modern Gal suggested as methods for hanging a shower curtain while standing in the aisle of Kroger.

If you didn't get it, don't feel bad. It's just because you're not this lady:



Gawd how I miss the 80s. Ok, ending tangent.

The Modern Mom was gracious enough to join me in Knoxville to help me receive the movers when they arrive at the new place (and by the time most of you read this post they better freakin' have arrived) and then to help me unpack because she's a glutton for punishment.

The movers aren't scheduled to arrive until Monday morning and it is Sunday night as I write this post. I have absolutely nothing here at the new condo, save some clothes and some random boxes of books I had packed away at a local storage unit. Oh, and a papasan chair and this lamp.

Between the 12-hour drive on Thursday night and my midnight to 3 a.m. drive on Friday night/early Saturday morning, The Modern Gal hasn't gotten a whole lotta rest lately. She has been absolutely and completely worthless these past two days. Slug-like, in fact. My brain was still on vacation and my body was still asleep.

On a normal weekend, that wouldn't have been a big deal except that I needed my brain to anticipate needs the Modern Mom and I would have as we camped out at the new place without having any of my stuff. Like a shower curtain. With curtain rings to hang it. And maybe a couple of plates and forks and spoons. All stuff that's sitting on a semi-truck, God knows where. Which is why in the middle of an aisle in Kroger at 9:30 on a Sunday night I was telling my mom to put her MacGyver thinking hat on.

I'm sure we appeared as morons to anyone whose brain wasn't on vacation, but I will say this: the curtain is very daintily hung from the rod with cut up shoe laces and it doesn't look half bad either.

I am proud to announce that The Modern Gal should return to her regularly scheduled posting now that I'll be back to the grind. I've still got some stuff to share from the vacation, but that will come later this week.

And thanks once again to everyone who's offered their encouragement during this stressful time. I was especially cranky (one of my more dominant traits) when I wrote that last post. The crankiness manifested itself into tears later on that lasted a good hour, but I feel like it's all behind me now. I do have my new place, and even though it's not my old place, it's still a good one and as soon as I get all my stuff wedged into it, it will be home.

Finally.

A Father's Day adventure

Modern Friends, if you would, take a moment to view the following video:


And now this:


Hi. I'm in Delaware (Small wonder and home of tax-free shopping, according to the above blurry sign).

The Modern Dad has this crazy notion to visit every state capital. He's already visited quite a few -- in the high 30s, having dragged my poor mother to a number of obscure ones during their travels, eg: Cheyenne, Wyoming. I can assure you there is nothing to see besides the Wyoming capital in Cheyenne.

Anyway, he had never been to Dover, Delaware, and decided because D.C. was just so darn close and because Sunday morning wasn't occupied by some sort of function he was going. I have the slightly less ambitious goal of simply seeing every state before I die. Because Delaware was still on my list to see and because it was Father's Day, I obliged to go along. Modern Mom, ever the good sport, went too. At 6:45 a.m. Why we were up that early, I have no idea, but it certainly wasn't because I was well-rested.

It wasn't too far -- only about an hour and a half -- but considering how much of NOTHING there is between D.C. and Dover, it felt every bit of an hour and a half and more. I lie. There are a few things between D.C. and Dover. Like Annapolis, Maryland -- a capital the MD had already seen, thus requiring no stop.There was also the Bay Bridge over the Chesapeake, which freaked the holy bejeebus out of me not because I'm afraid of heights but possibly because I'm afraid of heights over deep waters with iffy barriers between me and the long way down.

My dad and I passed the time talking literature and art and politics and even took to reciting poetry because he's awesome like that a nerd like that and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

We stayed in Dover long enough to determine what building served as the state capital and snap some pictures and long enough for some native Doverite to point out how the buildings were more Victorian than Georginian and tell us what a shame it was that we were there on a Sunday morning rather than a more bustling Saturday (perhaps that was the plan), but it was long enough that I knew I could use a drink. Fortunately, I found this tavern:

Unfortunately, it was closed. A closer look revealed that this particular tavern was the place long ago where the powers that be in Delaware aka "The First State" ratified the Constitution. I'm so glad to know our country got started on such fertile ground.

We were back in D.C. by 11 a.m. What did you accomplish before noon on Sunday?The rest of my day was spent picnicking with family, catching up with friends Missy, Hélène, Katie and Cole and finally meeting the engaged Heidi, who is every bit as fun as she comes across on Life in Pink.

At least you had your health

I am an only child. There is a reason for this: my mother is the 10th of 11 children. Every five years, those 11 and their brethren gather for a family reunion in some random place. Which is exactly why I'm somewhere in Bumf*@&, Maryland, outside the D.C. Beltway.

But let me back up.

Here's the first thing I saw this morning:


Well, not true. This is actually the first thing I saw:

Because it's good to start a long trip off with a really good greasy base.

Anyway, back to the first photo. You see those orange boxes on those signs? Those aren't there because the state of Tennessee's favorite color is orange. It means detour, as in the road ahead is closed. Also a very good way to start off a long trip.

Also, please note that the sky is a few shades lighter than I intended it to be. I managed to get through the especially challenging task of setting my alarm for 5:50 last night but could not pull off the equally demanding chore of turning that alarm on. Luckily, I have an internal alarm clock that wakes me up every morning at 7 as it did this morning. To which I said "Ohhhh noooooo." That was an immediate sign my vacation had begun; normally that would have involved an f-bomb or two.

Also worth noting: the first song I heard on the radio was "Cruel Summer" by Bananarama. Because I have awesome taste in music it was the only thing on.

Fast forward to this sighting plus about two and a half hours:

That's about the time when, after attending Mass (yes, we're Catholic ... how else does one end up with 11 children?) where my family accounted for half the congregation, my aunt did a faceplant on the concrete steps out front the church. The ambulance came, a handful of us went to the Bumf*@& Regional Hospital, where my mom stepped in vomit outside the ER door. My former ER doctor Dad, on the other hand, was in his element.

The Aunt is fine. Alive, though requiring surgery to repair a broken wrist and time to heal a few scratches and abrasions. I gather she's high on morphine right now while awaiting a transfer to DC General Hospital because they don't have any orthopaedic surgeons in Bumf*@&.

In all the hoopla, I managed to miss the DC blogger meetup, but am still hoping to meet Miss Heidi before the week is done to congratulate her on her engagement in person. Other things I plan to do include this and this.

Reaching our goals the modern way

From Modern Jessica at Delicious Design Studio/The Tattooed Mama/All Things Cupcake:

When I became pregnant, the first thing I thought ... besides the fact that I will have to buy all new clothes, is ... how am I going to work? As months went by, I was actually unable to work due to sickness so I became a stay at home soon to be mom. Great. Now how am I going to shop? Really though ... I needed to think of a way to make money, and make money quick. Sure hubs paid ALL the bills and gave me some money to spend.. but I wanted to feel like I could contribute too ... so I thought ... and thought ... and I decided to start a blog called All Things Cupcake, added some google ads, and began! The trick was finding my niche ... and boy did I! All Things Cupcake is now one of the biggest cupcake sites on the web, with well over 13,000 hits a day.. it was a success! I went even further with my goals and created my own web and blog design business, creating delicious designs that you see popping up all over the web. People ask me, how ... at 24 years old ... do I juggle motherhood, owning a business, marriage, blogging, and my obsession for cupcakes ..? My first answer would be ... "how the hell do I know!" but really ... It's what I love to do ... and that's the most important.

If you have a love for something, go for it. Get it while the gettin' is good and make sure you purchase a domain to go with that goal so someone else doesn't snatch it up! Start a blog, a site, a business ... just make sure you have the passion for it.. because if you start something just to make money ... you can easily get burnt out on it.

You may ask, how? How can I make money by doing what I love? If you love to paint, or are crafty... open an etsy shop! Sell some of your crafts and see how much other people love them. Start a blog and share your passion with the world. The worst destroyer of your goals is fear. Don't be afraid, just go for it.

A conversation with the Modern Dad

... or here's to the Modern Gal's health.

The Modern Dad is an emergency room doctor turned family practice doctor. I know what you're thinking: "Wow, a doctor? What a handy thing to have around!" Well, kinda.

Growing up, it took a lot to get medical attention from the ER doc.

"Are you vomiting?"

"No."

"Are you bleeding?"

"No."

"Then you're fine. Go to school."

Let's just say he missed a few broken fingers this way.

Anyway, my mom happened to mention to him yesterday that I'd mentioned to her that my recurring headache problem was back with a vengence and I'd been feeling like crap for quite some time now. So, I get a phone call from him and he tells me we're having a doctor-patient meeting and he's going to ask me a few questions. This is how it goes:

"So are your headaches increasing in frequency?"

"Yes."
"Are you having more frequent migraines that include .... WOW! Ankiel just robbed that guy of a home run!"

"Well that's good to hear."

"I mean, he caught that ball over the fence. It was out if he hadn't caught it. Ok, Are you having more frequent migraines that include naseau."

"Well, not more frequent, but I still get them once every other month or so."

"Are you taking that ... Ohhhhhhh, no. Hit up the middle. Guy's on third. Wonder why that dude didn't try to take second?"

"Dunno, Dad."

After 10 minutes of this, I ended up with a prescription for migraine medicine that I already have, a prescription for some sort of fancy nasal spray to take care of the allergies which have taken residence in my head and instructions to go to the pharmacy and ask for the stuff they keep behind the counter so as to prevent drugheads from buying up the main ingredient in methamphetamine.

I'd been resisting calling my dad for medical help even though I've FELT LIKE CRAP FOR WEEKS because I kept blaming it on the lack of sleep/that bad-for-me meal I had/stress of my hectic life of late. Things finally settled down this week, and I've been taking REALLY GOOD CARE of myself yet somehow I felt worse because of it.

I haven't picked up any of the prescribed drugs because I've gotten to the point where I hate taking them. They usually end up fixing one thing and causing some other problem. My mother the nurse agrees with this, even though she usually opts for the pills/more probs approach.

Anyway, my point is that I woke up this morning all of a sudden feeling kind of normal. I've stopped sneezing every 10 seconds. I don't feel like a cow. My head doesn't feel like it's been removed and used as a bowling ball. These are all major steps.

I even felt well enough that I danced a little gangsta-style jig in the living room before leaving work, much to the Modern Dog's horror.

Score one for the Modern Gal's approach to healthcare?