The Modern Gal tells the truth

Ok, I promised an explanation of yesterday's April Fool's post, and I apparently stumped even some of my closest friends (by design), so I owe everyone explanations.

1. I got kicked out of Space Camp as a child. Half truth. I almost got kicked out. I was one of only four girls on my team that week. One was a big nerd. The other two were really mean to her. I was off in la-la land wondering if one particular cute boy on the team had any interest in me. Somehow all three of us got in trouble for being mean, and the head Space Camp dude threatened to send us all home. Instead he called my mother and made her cry. When I didn't cry with her, he asked me if I had any remorse. I didn't know what that meant, but I later learned that I didn't.

2. I've been serenaded by an Elvis impersonator dressed as a whale. Truth. I was at Graceland the day Bush took Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi (a huge Elvis fan) there. I was standing outside with some gawkers and a group of Elvis impersonators, one of whom was dressed as a whale, who were all there to protest Japan's whaling practices. They sang "Don't be cruel to a whale that's true." Here's a video, though I don't know where the whale is. He may have been holding the video camera.

3. I read James and the Giant Peach at age four. I think it's true. I read it either right before or right after my fifth birthday -- sometime right before I started kindergarten and it began a love afair with Roald Dahl books. My dad taught me to read at a young age. Unfortunately, my math and science skills never quite came around.

4. I got in a car wreck with Alan Jackson's wife. Completely false. I told my mom on April Fools of '05 that Alan Jackson hit my car, and she believed me. I thought it might work again as a lie.

5. I've visited 75 of Tennessee's 95 counties and 32 U.S. states. Half truth. I've actually been to 88 Tennessee counties (mostly thanks to work) and 32 states (all for pleasure). I like to travel. Cheap one, I know, but that was mostly for the people who know me personally.

6. I've broken two fingers, a toe and my nose ... twice. Truth. You see, this one time at band camp ... actually worse than that, I was on the color guard. You know, the people that do this with flags and faux swords and rifles? Except my rifle didn't always land squarely in my hands the way it was supposed to, and that thing could do some damage.

7. One of my summer jobs as a teen required me to teach cricket (the sport) to little kids. Truth. I worked at a sports camp for kids and the director had to find enough activities to fill the time that could be played in the limited field and gym space we had. She came up with a bastardized version of cricket. We didn't have legit wickets -- just coffee cans with sticks propped up on them, but those worked well enough. And we taught the kids how to bowl and hit the cricket balls. I'm sure any self-respecting Brit would have turned his nose up at us, but we had a lot of fun doing it. We also taught them box hockey. How many of you have played box hockey?

8. I was in The Firm. False. I wasn't, but my bff was in a scene at the Memphis Airport when the Mob dudes arrive. She was standing right behind Wilford Brimley. I freakin' love that movie, but probably just because I know where almost every scene was shot and can explain in detail why there's no way the Albino dude could have caught up with Tom Cruise when he got off the Mud Island tram.

Ok, now you all know a little more about me which will never in any way be useful unless I become famous one day and subsequently become a subject in Trivial Pursuit, which is actually a lifelong dream.