Maybe it's because work has kicked my ass since the calendar turned to 2010. Maybe it's because the sun has forgotten where to find Knoxville (I love all the snow we've been getting, I just want sun on the non-snowy days). Maybe it's because NBC's Olympic coverage has big-time sucked. Maybe it's because the free time I thought I would have during my upcoming trip to visit the company's mothership in NYC seems to have gotten screwed up. Maybe it's because I haven't been able to spend much time around my own house ever since the Lucydog and the Modern Roomate's cat decided to stop getting along and the dog got relocated to the Modern Love Machine's apartment.**
Whatever the reason -- and I suppose it's a combination of all the aforementioned -- I haven't been feeling myself lately. I've lost motivation to work out, to blog and to be social. I'm dressing like a slob. I have a hard time getting to work at a decent time, and it's taking me forever to slog through a few work projects that have been hanging over my head for quite some time.
The good thing is, I recognize I'm off my game, and I have a pretty good idea of how to get back on.
I had hoped to get to the YMCA before work this morning. I didn't, but I resolved to do a few small things that might make me feel better. I put on a nice sweater and knee-high boots. I went through my full makeup routine and even put on lipgloss (usually reserved for formal occasions). I also put together a big mixed greens salad topped with apples, avacados and gorganzola cheese to eat with my leftover slice of Hawaiian pizza. Baby steps. Baby steps which still made me late for work, but baby steps nonetheless.
Tomorrow I WILL go to the YMCA. I don't have to work until tomorrow evening, so I have no excuse. I'll also eat another nice lunch. Take that crappy mood!
I also know I have NYC to look forward to. I'll have to work some really crummy hours while I'm there, but I should still have the daytime to explore restaurants, shops and NYC's lovely outdoor spaces. The change of scenery will probably do me some good.
I've been here before, and I recognize my urge to want to retreat from the world but I'm fighting it. In the mean time, please forgive me for any cranky posts or comments on your own blog or lack of posting. And if you've got any tips for what helps you when you're off your game, I'm all ears.
**I do know for sure that the MLM is not part of the problem here. We had a lovely Valentine's Day dinner he made himself -- Salad, fresh veggies and perfectly seared filet mignon. The cupcakes he got from a local bakery were delicious too. It was the perfect V-Day: not a big deal, but still nice.