Where nobody will know us well

I've really been digging this new song by Spoon, 'The Mystery Zone.' You can stream the album version on the band's website.

Because the last time around went so well

Remember how last summer I decided to move again, this time into an old house in the historic part of town? The house with the big front porch and back yard and character and stuff? The one with the roommate? Yeah, let's just say the experiment didn't work out as beautifully as both the roommate and I'd hoped.

There was the waterfall in the kitchen that got us off to a bad start. And the gate to the backyard is so messed up it won't hold a Lucydog back. And there have been more leaks and stopped up drains. And the dog and cat's relationship seems to be getting worse, so the dog is spending more time at the Modern Love Machine's apartment. Not to mention roommate and I live in fear of something really, really bad happening to the house.

I don't regret the move because problems aside, I've loved living where I live, and it has saved me some extra money in the long run. Still, we're calling the experiment off when our lease expires mid-June.

Really, it's just clearing the way for me to give in to the urge to buy another house -- the urge that I've pretty much had since I sold the townhouse in Nashville a year and a half ago. Are you crazy??, you ask. Don't you remember the ordeal of selling the last one, and losing money on the sale, and the subsequent income tax headaches? Yes, yes and yes. And yes, I am crazy, but we've long since established that.

I've decided I'm ready to be settled in my own place again, a place where I can fix things if they go wrong, rather rely on an unreliable landlord. And I can fix them to my pleasing. A place where my dog can run in the backyard AND NOT GET OUT. A place where I can comfortably host my parents when they're in town for Thanksgiving dinner. A place that's got a place for all my things.

The bad news is the universe has been slamming me with some unexpectedly large bills lately, which makes initiating the home-buying process that much scarier and has kept me from having quite as much saved up by now as I'd hoped. And that I will have to physically move AGAIN (this would be my seventh new address in the six years since graduating college). The good news is I've still got what I got back from the down payment on my last place plus a little bit more. And my credit score is so good it sparkles.

And the other good news is, I might just already have a great place in mind. Of course, I will look around a bit more first.

Above average

I've been out of high school for 10 years and college for nearly six, and I'm starting to notice through Facebook that people I knew in high school who got married straight outta college are starting to get divorced. Yes, we're there, folks. We made it through the stage where everybody got married, then the stage where people started having babies (I have several friends who are on their second child/pregnancies -- mazel tov!). And now people are starting to get divorced. (And here I am, the unmarried, unmotherly nonconformist :)

I just Googled 'average length of marriage.' Fun fact: when you start typing in 'average length of ...' in the Google box, the first four suggestions in order are: intercourse, marriage, menstrual cycle and college football game. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you America. Anyway, the Google couldn't give me a straight answer. I saw everything from seven years to 24 years as the average length of marriage.

The Modern Parents celebrated their 30th yesterday. So even if 24 is the real average length of marriage, they're still above average. And they are.

I laughed when the Modern Mom told me what they were doing yesterday to celebrate: The Modern Dad had to work late so he just requested some of the MM's Weight Watchers-recipe taco soup. He wanted to save his calories for when they go out to celebrate at their favorite Italian restaurant later in the week. She surprised him anyway with his favorite dessert, a chocolate pie. Pearls weren't the gift of choice, as is the traditional suggestion. Instead, they got a new mattress a few weeks ago. Heh.

I neglected to ask either of them yesterday what it's taken to get them here. The MD has said before that having things in common is a way better gig than opposites attract, and they do enjoy many of the same activities like reading, traveling and watching sports (gee, where do I get it from?). I imagine they'd also say hard work, a good sense of humor and lots and lots of tolerance.

Aunt Martha moves her hips

Aunt Martha tries pole dancing as an exercise activity. Warning: watching this feels, I don't know, WRONG.

A month of real, simple cooking

I think -- *THINK* -- my life is about to return to normal just a smidge. I survived the chaos at work, and Godwilling I will have some peace and quiet this coming weekend in the form of a three-day weekend (I did not have a three-day weekend like many of the rest of you. I've only had two days off this entire month).

One of the goals as part of my New Year's Mantra (ahem, kindness) was to treat my body more kindly. I've wanted to do more cooking for myself, and I don't mean sticking a Weight Watchers meal in the microwave. I want to know what ingredients are going into my meals, and I want those ingredients to be as fresh as possible.

Before work knocked me off my rocker, the Modern Love Machine and I were trying out a week of new recipes courtesy of an old issue of Real Simple. The magazine did an article on a month's worth of new recipes complete with grocery shopping lists. Here's Week One, Week Two, Week Three and Week Four.

We made it through four days, and let me tell you these recipes are AWESOME. The hardest part was finding all the fresh veggies at my woefully understocked Kroger. The cooking was simple. Easy directions and every recipe took no longer than 30 minutes as best as I can remember. Everything was tasty, and the MLM and I edited a few of the recipes to add our own touch (like substituting the brown rice I had in the pantry for the white rice that was called for). The cooking methods seem healthy enough: mostly sauteing in olive oil or baking in the oven. And if you need to edit portion size, it's not hard to cut most of the recipes in half.

Now, go forth and cook.

Think before you give. And then give.

Once again my professional life has been run over by a metaphorical 18-wheeler, which is why I haven't written this post sooner. As it often and tragically does, the universe has provided us all some perspective on just how not-tragic our lives are at the moment through the earthquake in Haiti and subsequent destruction. If you're on the internetz, the I trust you've heard about the earthquake and know that the common theme in all the news coverage is total destruction and suffering in a place that already suffers so much, so I won't beleaguer that point

I do want to share this article which explains how your well-intentioned donation to relief efforts could actually end up hurting instead of helping. Basically it boils down to this: money donations = good ... in-kind donations, while well-intentioned, get in the way of what's needed. The best thing you can do is give money. When given to the right relief organizations, money will be used for EXACTLY WHAT IS NEEDED WHEN IT IS NEEDED. I realize none of us have a lot of money to spare but as always -- EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS.

So where to give? Go to the trusted organizations that you know are putting your money to good use and make every effort to keep overhead costs down. Here are the ones I recommend:

1. American Red Cross. Visit the website to donate or send a $10 donation by texting ‘Haiti’ to 90999 (will be billed to your phone bill). The Red Cross works to provide the necessities such as food, water, clothing, shelter and medical care following a disaster.

2. Doctors Without Borders (Médecins Sans Frontières). MSF's aid is more medically oriented. This is one of the best-organized relief groups out there. Visit the website to donate.

3. Catholic Relief Services. Haiti is predominately Catholic, and many Catholic churches in America sponsor clinics, schools, orphanages, etc. there. Catholic Relief Services, which has long had a presence in Haiti, is working there now to provide basics such as food, water and temporary shelter. Visit the website to donate (there's also an option at the website to use your phone to donate).

If those three don't suit you, that's fine, but if you choose to donate (and I hope you do!), make sure you research your charity of choice. Know where your donation is going. Check out Charity Navigator and Guidestar. There will be scammers out there operating what sound like and look like legit charities and they will gladly take your money.

(Cheers to Twitter friend @thesnarkyone for article tip)

Dishwasher tips

I vaguely remember a discussion on either NPW's blog or possibly at Malfeasance or even The Daily Tannenbaum about how utensils should be placed in the dishwasher: head up or down? And the responses were pretty much split 50/50.

Despite long been a heads-down utensil loader, I've still been baffled by which direction was more beneficial (though not quite baffled enough to do any research). But lo and behold, Real Simple answered that very question deep within the November 2009 issue, which I just recently made my way through. And because we had such an intense debate about the dishwasher at whichever blog it was, I figured I'd share Real Simple's answer and its other dishwasher-loading tips here in hopes of some of you finding them as interesting as I did. (It's a slow news week here at The MG).

Drum roll please ...

Real Simple says spoons and forks should be varied. (So in a way we were all right). Placing some business-end up and some down keeps the utensils from nesting and allows the water and suds to better do their jobs.

Other loading tips:
-- Glasses should always go on the top rack between the tines and not over them so they don't rattle or come out with marks.
-- Plates get cleanest when they face the center rather than the same direction (because the water comes from the center)
-- Bowls should go on the top rack, again facing the center so water can get in.
-- Cookie sheets and platters should go along the outer edges of the bottom rack so they don't block water and detergent from everything else.
-- Long-handed utensils should lay horizontally across the top rack. Serving spoons go face down so they don't collect watter.
-- Casseroles, serving bowls and large pots go on the bottom rack at a slight angle rather than upside down so they don't block the flow of watter.
-- Plastic containers belong on the top rack, but if they're marked '7' or 'PC' like many takeout containers, they shouldn't be used after going through a dishwasher because they may have leached the dangerous BPA chemical.

So there you go. I know you're all way more excited about those tips than you're letting on.

(Cheers to Real Simple)

And the word of the year is ...

Ok, so back to my word of the year.

A year ago my resolution was to just pull my life back together after being blindsided by a massive breakup. I feel I passed that goal with flying colors. 2009 turned out to be the greatest year of my adult life (I count my adult life to be a total of six years now). Pulling my life together became my mantra, and in practicing my mantra I better learned how to deal with change and adversity (after five years of going through plenty of change and adversity, it was about dang time), and I came out better for it.

Before that became my mantra last year, I'd already made resolutions along the lines of: send more birthday cards, make more random phone calls to friends, practice more random acts of kindness, etc.

Boom. There's my word of the year: Kindness.

Photo by the ever-so-talented Noodles.

I spent last year focusing on myself, rediscovering who I was and what it was that made me happy ... dealing with problems that had been pulling me down longer than I care to admit. Many, many, many people either knowingly or unwittingly came to my aid during that time, and I want to thank them and the universe by spreading their kindness on to others in a sort of pay-it-forward sense. This could include but is not limited to: sending more birthday cards, making more random phone calls to friends and practicing more random acts of kindness.

But this practice of kindness isn't just an outward effort. It's about treating myself more kindly too: eating well, exercising, making the doctors appointments I continue to put off. Not to mention I have a sneaking suspicion that my outward effort at kindness will have it's own inward side effects -- I don't think I'm a mean person, but as an only child who has long been stubbornly independent, I could probably stand to think about others more often.

So that's my word, and I'm sticking to it. Hopefully you will see my efforts reflected here at The Modern Gal. You've always been good at keeping me accountable, Modern Friends, so I expect no less of you this year!

Making resolutions, or not

For those of you who already have your list of resolutions or goals drawn up for 2010, here are some tips from Real Simple on how to stick with them.

If you're not into making resolutions, might I suggest the resolution generator? The generator has told me that this year I will be a leader, jump rope, get married and learn to say hello in five languages. Sounds like a well-rounded year, if you ask me.

I like New Year's resolutions that are more vague concepts than specific goals. And I've got a great concept this year, thanks to one of my bestest friends, Noodles in Chicago and her blog, Patches & Paws. And that concept is a word of the year that works in lieu of a resolution.

Noodles found the notion for the word of the year at the blog of Christine Kane. Christine explains the notion as such:

Let’s say you are one of the many people who would normally choose “Get Organized.” You look around to see clutter and crap all over your life. You’re tired of the chaos. So, you think, “I need to get organized. That should be my Resolution this year.”

But then you read this blog. You decide to try it.

You sit with your clutter. You spend a few days pondering words that will inspire you. You realize in an “Ah-Ha!” moment that you tend to cling to lots of things. You’re scared to let go. So you choose the word “Release” because it inspires you in a bigger way than “Get organized.”

So, every time you approach your clutter you remind yourself of that word. “Release,” you say softly. You start to let the clutter go. Eventually, you realize that you’re still holding on to lots more than just physical clutter. You realize that you hold onto resentment at old relationships. “Release,” you remind yourself. You realize that holding on is affecting your diet and health. “Release” applies to some of the extra weight you’ve gained as well. Throughout the year, you can see clearly how much you hold on. “Release” is your touchstone. It grows you throughout the year. It becomes your guiding force, not your harsh standard.

Your clutter became your teacher simply because you shifted your intent towards it. This wouldn’t have happened if you’d opted only to “Get Organized.”

I've got a word of the year that will be my mantra this year, which I'll tell you about in my next post. Who else is on board?

By the way, hello in five languages: Ciào, Namaste, Malo, Hola and Guten Tag. (Italian and Hindi because I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love right now ... Samoan because I have a friend living and teaching there ... Spanish because it was the language I chose to learn in school ... and German, the language of half of my ancestry.) There. One resolution acheived. I think I'll go jump rope now.

Bring your compost inside

P to the S: I did my monthly post at The Greenists, this one about how you can compost inside, which could be seriously useful as the temperatures are like eleventy billion below zero right now.

Go Pink!

I don't mention it often, but yes, I was in a sorority in college. Which means I had a big sister in my sorority.

That has nothing to do with anything except Big Sis' mom and sister are on the Biggest Loser starting tonight. If you're a fan, I ask you to root for the Pink Team this time because they're awesome. Watch the video and see for yourself. Big Sis has been sneaking a little bit of info on how they've been doing, and it sounds like they've had a lot of success.

Go Pink!

Everybody turns 50 ... sometimes

Um, holy crap, Michael Stipe is 50 today? Yeah, that's weird. I had no idea he was about the same age as Michael Jackson (were he still alive and may he rest in peace) and Madonna.

Pop Candy honors him with some of Whitney's favorite Stipe moments. Here's my favorite plucked from her list, a Stipe performance of Because the Night with the Boss.