I've found that one of my favorite movies, When Harry Met Sally, is a great movie to watch after a breakup. There are plenty of breakup scenes to relate to and it kind of leaves you feeling like there is still someone out there for you. The really weird thing is I swear my emotions are starting to mirror Sally's after she broke up with her boyfriend of five years. I hope it has nothing to do with the fact that I have the script memorized. I guess this means that despite the fact that I'm feeling a lot better about this breakup, I'm going to eventually freak out and sleep with one of my guy friends whom I will eventually marry. Ok, probably not.
I know, you were probably hoping for the fake orgasm scene. Sorry.
But yes, you heard me right when I said I was feeling a lot better about the breakup. Or to quote Sally, "I've had a few days to get used to it, and I feel ok." I've had a couple of major epiphanies in the past week or so that have made me accept that I'm likely going to come out of this ordeal a much better person. Hell, I feel like I'm a much better person anyway for having gone through both the relationship and the breakup. Still, there are some things I'm having to deal with in my head, like getting used to being single (though that's not too hard thanks to my dominant independence streak) and getting used to the idea of him not being a part of my life (significantly harder).
I've been especially surprised at how good I've felt this week. Things that once bothered me -- like my job -- aren't bothering me anymore. (That may have more to do with the way my work assignments change seasonally, but I'm going to go ahead and credit the breakup). I've been more motivated to interact with friends than I have been in some time. I've laughed and smiled a lot. It feels good. I feel light.
I had no problem the other day shoving all the rest of his stuff into a box to give to a mutual friend ... or removing his key off my key ring ... or taking him off speed dial ... or deleting his Mii. It felt good.
I know I'm not completely healed. I still have moments where I panic. I still have moments where I'm haunted by the possibility that he was the one. I still have moments when I freak out about the future. But fortunately, they seem to be fleeting.