Try saying: "go f___ yourself, HR"

My colleague's wife, who works in the marketing department of the local newspaper, forwarded the following e-mail on to the two of us for us to read. It's something her HR supervisor sent out -- not a chain letter.

Working for a company that busts out Office Space caliber crap on a very rare basis, I was on the floor after I read this.

Dear Employees:
>
> It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
>
> We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to
> accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
>
> Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have
> Been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
> continue in an effective manner.
>
>
> 1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
> INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
>
> 2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
> INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.
>
> 3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
> INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
>
> 4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
> INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.
>
> 5) TRY SAYING: Really?
> INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!
>
> 6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
> INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
>
> 7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
> INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.
>
> 8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
> INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
>
> 9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
> INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.
>
> 10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
> INSTEAD OF: Why the h___ didn't you tell me sooner?
>
> 11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
> INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
>
> 12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
> INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
>
> 13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
> INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
>
> 14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
> INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.
>
> 15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
> INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
>
> 16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
> INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
>
> 17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
> INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you boss?
>
> 18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
> INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.
>
> Thank You,
>
> Human Resources

I'd argue that several of these "try saying" suggestions aren't expressing the same sentiment as the original phrase.