There's always the showcase showdown

I have a real post for today, but I had to share this first ...

Please click on this link. And then click on the button. You'll know what it is as soon as you hear it, and if you don't ... well, let's just say our friendship may be in question.

(I'm just kidding, I'd never call our friendship into question, but if you need a hint: it's related to my most recent Halloween costume)

I seriously want a button that I can carry around with me and push every time the situation calls for this sound. I'm sure there'd be a lot of them.

Movie-a-minute

Modern Friends, this, my day off, is not exactly going as planned. First I discovered water to be trickling ever so slowly out of the bottom of my hot-water tank and onto the floor. Then I learn my boy Albert Haynesworth has struck a deal with the Washington Redskins. THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS. They are not the Tennessee Titans.

So I'm trying to distract myself with more time wasters and found a good one today: movies in ultra-condensed form. This really boils them down to the basics, really all you need to know.

Take, for example, an old favorite of mine, Casablanca:

Ingrid Bergman: Oh, Rick.
Humphrey Bogart: Oh, Ilsa.
Paul Henreid: Oh, nuts.
Conrad Veidt: Oh, (dies).

Yep, that's pretty much all you need to know.

There's also the 30-second version done by the Angry Alien bunnies. Here's the whole list of bunny movie re-enactments.

A case for sex education

I don't like to make fun of people for ignorance, but this one was just too funny to pass up. Some paper did an interview with an infertility doctor. What was the weirdest case of infertility he's ever seen?

His strangest case by far involved a husband and wife who didn't realize they weren't actually having intercourse until Levine straightened them out. The man had mistaken the space between his wife's thighs for her genitalia.

Also, for a really good laugh, check out the "Friends with benefits benefit summary prospectus." (Kinda work safe, depending on how stiff your bosses are.)

Lent: a short background

Forgive me while I do something in this post that you will rarely see me do and that's talk about religion. My personal religion is one of the very few things that I make off-limits to my blog along with the more intimate workings of my personal relationships.

But after reading responses to a number of posts out in the blogosphere about Lent and Lenten sacrifices, I just felt the urge to talk about it briefly here. I'm not intending to get preachy. I'm not trying to convert anyone. That's really not how I operate. I just want to offer to you a bit of a history lesson in the 'this is why we do what we do' sort of way. I'm not saying it's the right way, it's just what I choose to do because it makes sense to me and it's part of who I am.

TIME OUT FOR A DISCLAIMER: If you're going to read this post only to bash my religion or anyone else's in the comments, you may leave now. This is not the place for it. I will delete your comment. However, you are more than welcome to voice disagreement if you do it in a respectful manner.

What I've seen in the past couple of days is a lot of 'I don't get it,' and I totally understand that. Catholics have some weird traditions. Most of those traditions have roots in some sort of spiritual meaning, although it might be hard to figure them out because the traditions are so old. (And thankfully many of the traditions not rooted in spiritual meaning, like, say indulgences, are no longer part of the church).

Even though I grew up Catholic among a very Catholic family (have I ever mentioned my mom has 10 siblings?), I've spent plenty of time exploring religion, especially my own. I don't want to be Catholic because my mom is. I want to be Catholic because I understand what being Catholic is and accept it. So here's my best explanation of why Catholics do what they do for Lent from what I've learned over the years ...

Em was absolutely right in that doing things for Lent should be just as important as giving up things for Lent. In fact, in the Catholic church there are three basic pillars of Lent: prayer, fasting and giving. Each one is designed to bring you closer to God in some way. Those pillars go along with the gajillion other practices we do between now and Easter.

The prayer is self-explanatory. I suppose giving is too. Fasting or giving things up represent sacrifice. It's supposed to be a prompt to pray more. It's supposed to bring us closer not only to God, but to each other. Why do Catholics give up meat (or mammal, as the case may be)? Because it was symbolic of the food that the hungry cannot afford for themselves. And Catholicism is all about humility (in the religious sense not the dictionary sense) and serving the poor and helpless. There's a practice many Catholics follow during Lent called Rice Bowl -- you fast for a meal and take the money you would have spent on it and give it to the hungry instead. We give up things for Lent in order to better ourselves in preparation to renew our connection to God come Easter.

(Takes a breath). Here's a good extended explanation of Catholics and Lent if you're a glutton for punishment. If you have questions, just ask. I'll try to answer or find the answer.

Now, that said. I did already have plans for a couple of service projects to do in the next 40 days before I mused yesterday about what I was giving up. That much was easy to work out on my own. And I actually had a much better idea this morning on what to give up. I love buying new clothes, but I don't need them. I look at how many clothes I have in my closet, and I'm embarrassed. I could be giving that money to the poor. So, no new clothes until after Easter. Going hand in hand with that will be doing a major closet clean out and clothes donation.

I'm still planning on cutting back on Facebook. Em asked if that would be a real sacrifice for me, and the answer is yes. Working the weird hours I do, which involves a lot of late nights and weekends, I find myself sitting around a lot at times when none of my friends are available to hang out or chat. What's the next best thing? Stalking them on Facebook. I spend way too much time doing it when I should be doing other things. (Apparently giving up Facebook is the trendy thing to do this year.)

Anyhow, that's the last you'll probably hear from me in a long, long while about any of this. Because there's something else Catholic about giving things up for Lent and fasting -- you're supposed to be humble about it. That means no whining or bragging about it.

(Takes another breath).

Word math

I was never too good at math, but I still kind of liked studying it because there was always a definitive answer to whatever problem you were solving. The math discipline I excelled the most at was geometry because it was so visually oriented and it actually involved some words (does anyone remember postulates and theorems? Words and math blended together!)

New Math by Craig Damrauer really excited the supernerd within the Modern Gal by doing word math out of concepts. They're like mindbenders.

For example: Sanity = Everyone else's crazy / Mine

And don't forget Indexed, an old favorite with a similar concept.

The first step is ...

Another year, another last-minute decision as to what I'm giving up for Lent. I need to think about these things a little bit harder before Fat Tuesday.

After an extra-indulgent Fat Tuesday lunch at the local soul food restaurant, I'd prefer to just give up food altogether. I'm thinking that's probably not a great idea. I really don't have any particular food- or beverage-related vices that would constitute a sacrifice were I to give them up. All in moderation.

The thing is, I know exactly what I should give up, and that is Facebook, Twitter or (GASP!) blogging. Or get rid of my Treo.

I just don't know if I can.

The Treo is here to stay because I need it for work. Blogging is my hobby. Twitter and Facebook are my connection to the outside world (and often how I manage to make plans for the weekend). But they all eat up a larger chunk of my time than they should because I'm addicted to them like crack.

So here's what I'm thinking: I either limit my Facebook time to an hour window every night. Or I stop using my Treo to Twitter or access Facebook and e-mail.

What do you think, Modern Friends?

Make Yellow go green

Once a year at work at my old position in Nashville, without fail, we would receive a bundle of phone books -- one for pretty much every phone we had in the office, which outnumbered people like five to one. And those phone books stayed bundled in their plastic wrap pretty much until the next bundle arrived a year later and someone finally decided they should be tossed.

Cause really, who uses hard copy phone books anymore? That's what Google is for.

I think our office manager called the phone company to try to tell them we didn't need any more phone books, but I'm pretty sure that didn't stop them from coming.

Well, a project called Yellow Pages Goes Green makes it very, very simple to opt out. Click here for the form to opt your address out of receiving books ... you can select yellow pages, white pages or both.

And if you need some more motivation than just not wanting those wieldy books around your house, consider this from Yellow Pages Goes Green:

To produce the 500 million books distributed annually:

• 19 million trees need to be harvested
• 1.6 billion pounds of paper are wasted
• 7.2 million barrels of oil are misspent in their processing (not including the wasted gas used for their delivery to your doorstep)
• 268,000 cubic yards of landfill are taken up
• 3.2 billion kilowatt hours of electricity are squandered

(Cheers to Cool People Care)

UPDATE: Ken, who appears to be commenting on behalf of the phone book industry, wants to clarify the source of the paper for the phone books:

"Currently, on average, most publishers are using about 40% recycled material (from the newspapers and magazines you are recycling curbside), and the other 60% comes from wood chips and waste products of the lumber industry. If you take a round tree and make square or rectangular lumber from it, you get plenty of chips and other waste. Those by-products make up the other 60% of the raw material needed. Note that these waste products created in lumber milling would normally end up in landfills."

That's certainly good to know, but I shall add my own additional 2 cents in saying that it still takes resources to package and ship these books, which judging by the other comments, some people don't want in the first place. I imagine the recycled material could be repurposed into another paper product.

Life in the weeds

Yet again, let me apologize for my lack of posting of late. You know, work, internet issues, blah, blah, blah. It's becoming so routine.

Actually, my real excuse was trying to roll a trip to the hair salon, a Wii party, baby shower fondue party (yes, that was a single event), night out dancing, brunch, a work shift and an Oscar party together in a single weekend. No doubt, one of my more ambitious undertakings of late but a mostly successful one. And I was even up early for work today. Rock star, I tell you.

But even a rock star needs her rest, and I plan on turning in early tonight (where early = 11 p.m.). That means you're getting another cop-out post tonight.

I've only been in my condo since June and ever since then the flower bed that's attached to my patio has blessed me with nothing but two crape myrtles that like to shed and a bunch of weeds. I took care of the weeds with some Roundup and have been waiting for the first permanent signs of spring to put my green thumb to work in the flower bed.

So imagine my surprise when I spotted this in the bed on Saturday while outside to enjoy the 57-degree sunny weather we were having ...


There is life in that flower bed! I had no idea! And a crocus, no less.

The ridiculous thing is that 12 hours later that 57-degree weather had turned into a ground-covering snowfall and 20-something degree temps. I've been scared to look out at the patio to see if my blessed crocus is already gone. I don't think I can handle the disappointment.

The Domino afterlife

After hearing that Domino was going under, I've been wondering whether I'd get a refund for the issues I wouldn't be receiving. Well, according to Maison Luxe, Domino subscribers will be automatically switched to Architectural Digest starting with the April issue.

That is, unless you specifically call Conde Naste and ask them to switch to one of their other magazines. Here's a list of the options.

So there you go.

(Cheers, Maison Luxe)

A day in the life of Abbey Road

Like most people when they start out on their journey of musical exploration, I was a huge Beatles fan as a twee teenager. So when my family and I took a trip to England one summer, of course I sought out the Abbey Road crosswalk. I'm sure I thought it was a brilliant move at the time. (Sadly, I cannot find the photo to share with you all. My mother must have it somewhere though.)

Anyway, I was intrigued by this time-lapse of a day in the life of Abbey Road. For some reason, I find it painful. It probably has something to do with my inner road rage bubbling at the sight of all those cars having to stop for every dang person who wants their picture taken.



Oh, and the song is "Garble Arch" by Blame Ringo. Pretty good.

A new way to Rickroll

I think a few of you have already stumbled upon Cornify, the website that allows you to cornify just about anything. Like The Modern Gal ...


Try it. I dare you.

Let me also introduce you to the Lolinator which allows you to apply a laugh track to any You Tube video.

Try this Lolinated video on for size. (Make sure you hit 'Play' when you get there.)

If you're a really big nerd, you can also Benny Hillify your You Tube videos with the Benny Hillifier by adding the Yakety Sax track (and by speeding the video up really, really fast). If you don't know Benny Hill, don't worry about this one.

A post about pizza

My favorite food in the world, hands down, is pizza in most any form. Now, I love just about any kind of good food out there and will eat almost anything at least once, but if I were limited to eating only one kind of food breakfast, lunch and dinner for the rest of my life, it would be pizza.

I love pizza because it can be so many different things all at once. It's one of the few foods that can manage to cover all the food groups at the same time. But the thing I think I love most about pizza is that in most cases it's a food that's meant to be shared. Of course, herein can lie the problem.

Starting a pizza relationship with someone can be an awkward moment in a friendship, and it often takes work to make that pizza relationship really sing. When pizza is such an important thing in your life, you don't want to have a bad pizza relationship with someone or start off on the wrong foot, because, well, then your friendship might end up with a black mark on it.

I know, I know: personal-sized pizzas. They work sometimes, but without sharing a pizza with someone who has different tastes than you, how will you further your development in your own personal relationship with pizza? It can be a thrilling experience.

There's also the pleasure of a long-running pizza relationship. My mother and I have a standing pizza date whenever I'm in Memphis at my favorite pizza joint. We order the same kind of pizza every time without discussion and then we talk about anything and everything under the sun. It's so comforting my life would be thrown in turmoil if we skipped said date one visit.

In a long-running pizza relationship, it's just that easy. You know each others' preferences and turnoffs. There's rarely any hard feelings.

But when you order a pizza with someone for the first time, there's probably a million things running through your head: What if she doesn't like sausage? Will he judge me for my toppings preferences? OMG, what if we're not pizza compatable?

Being pizza incompatible is a fate worse than hell, in my book. That's why you have to start gently. I always like to get my nonnegotiables out there first. My deal breakers, if you will.

Take for example, the pizza outing last Saturday. We had dined together several other times previously but never in any fashion that required us to share food, much less the holy pizza. Still, we took the next step in our dining experience by opting for pizza at the best joint in town.

"I don't do mushrooms," I say. "I just can't stand their texture."
"I'm not a fan of the chunky slices of tomatoes," he says. "I don't mind them if they're smaller, but here that's never the case."
"No problem, we can work around that," I say. (It's always important to encourage one another in your pizza journey so as to keep feelings from being hurt.)

Then it's a decision of whether to go for one of the pre-designed pizzas on the menu or freestyle from the 'Choose your own toppings' options. On the first date in a pizza relationship, I recommend just sticking with a pre-designed pizza. That's a great way to see what each of you is made of when it comes to your pizza tastes.

"I could eat just about any of these," I say. (Not terribly helpful, but at least trying to show I'm flexible. Plus, I'm afraid to confidently suggest the ham and pineapple. Too risky too soon. )
"Do you like pesto pizzas?" he asks. (Bold move, but a good one.)
"Love them," I reply.
We scan the menu. The pesto pizza has portabello and roma tomatoes on it. The pizza gods are not going to make it easy on us.
We discuss freestyling. We throw out a few potential toppings. We get distracted by our beers and our conversation. The waiter stops by to ask us if we're ready, and we sheepishly ask for a few more minutes.

"How about the No. 14?" he throws out there.
I scan: fresh spinach, red onion, roma tomato, kalamata olive, banana pepper, feta cheese, fresh oregano & organic baked tofu or andouille sausage.
It works ... I love greek-style pizzas, spinach is a go-to topping for me, I love banana peppers and feta and the andouille sausage sounds like fun.
"Yes, good choice. You can throw the tomatoes on my side if you want." (In searching for pizza compatability, sometimes you have to compromise.)

We dine. It's delicious. He seems to enjoy it too. The first step has been taken in the pizza relationship.

Wait ... is she still talking about pizza?

Why I write: the accountability

(Why I write introductory post here)

About a year ago, I saw some photos of myself on Facebook and was mortified at how I looked. I'd gained so much weight in years since I'd graduated from college that I was embarrassed for anyone to see. At my mother's urging, I joined Weight Watchers, even though I was dubious as to how much success I might have with it.

I also doubted whether or not I should announce to the blogworld about my attempt to lose weight. I mean, no one even knows what I look like, save my real-life friends, so what difference would it make to everyone else that I was losing weight. But because I was getting used to the whole over-sharing concept that drives a blog, I went ahead and wrote about it.

Then I realized something: I put my weight-loss pledge out there in writing for all to see. As a result, I didn't want to let anyone down by giving up. I'm a stubborn gal like that. I wanted to be able to report back to all of you that I wasn't all talk without action just as much as I wanted to be able to call my mom and tell her each week that I was working toward my goal.

At times it was easy, but most of the time it was hard as crap. I work a lot of hours, so it took some real focus to plan out my meals and strap on my running shoes. But the encouragement I received with each post I wrote made it more than worth it. After a while, my new lifestyle was just that -- a new, healthier lifestyle. That's when it got much easier.

Then I started reading about some of my blogger friends who were committing to Weight Watchers and other healthy goals, and it warmed my heart so much. I am bursting with pride for each of you.

So now, I'm proud to announce that today I reached the ultimate Weight Watchers' goal: lifetime membership. What that means is I reached the weight-loss goal I set for myself through the program (18 pounds), and I maintained that weight loss for six weeks. Now, as long as I hover somewhere near that goal, I'll never have to pay to attend another Weight Watchers meeting. I could even consider becoming a group leader if I wanted.

Actually, I've lost more than my goal. My official tally:
-minus 22.4 pounds since the start of Weight Watchers about 7.5 months ago
-minus about 26.7 pounds since I started keeping track a few weeks before that

I couldn't have done it without all of you.

Can I have your attention, please?

You may not be surprised to know that way, way, way back in the day people had longer attention spans. Really, you don't even have to go that far back. In 1863, when Abraham Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address, people routinely gave two-hour speeches and people actually listened. So when Lincoln concluded after just two minutes, no one applauded because they didn't realize he was done.

Interesting, huh? And slightly topical seeing as Lincoln's birthday was a week ago.

Real Simple has an article about how to improve your attention span.

I don't know that you'll be successful to the extent of being able to listen to two-hour speeches, but I can vouch for sleep. It makes a huge difference. My rambly post yesterday about the Real Housewives? Definitely a result of a short attention span which was a direct result of having only five hours of sleep.

(Cheers to Real Simple)

My one true crack addiction

I have few guilty TV-watching pleasures in my life. I've only watched two seasons of American Idol, and that was mainly because I had roommates who watched it. I don't do the Bachelor. I haven't watched more than 2 seconds of MTV in the last eight years or so.

But, I do still have my one TV crack addiction: The Real Housewives franchise.

Oh, Real Housewives, how do I love thee? Let me count the trainwrecks. From the very first season of RH of the O.C., I've been a junky, just dying for my next fix.

Ok, that's a bit dramatic. Because of all the nights shifts I work, I didn't catch any of the Atlanta ladies' season and I missed about half of this past cycle of the O.C. I know, I know, it's time to break down and get DVR. I'm getting there, I swear.

But no matter, NYC has become my favorite and IT STARTS BACK TONIGHT! I think I like them the most because they're all the trainwreck with only a third of the blondeness. And Bethenny. I love her. I want her to be my personal chef. Or best friend.

And in grand Real Housewives tradition, there's a new member of the brood. I've yet to grasp why there's always a new housewife. Especially this time around, since everyone from season one is returning. The new ones always end up being lame or super-annoying in a totally unsatisfying way.

I call it 'Dog in natural habitat'

I swear I'm not going to become one of those people who just posts pictures of their dog all the time. Lucydog can get her own blog if she wants more exposure.

But, I've got a busy evening tonight, so this is all you're getting today. Sorry it's a bit blurry. I had to act fast before the moment had passed.

It's cool to count

I don't know if this has occurred to you yet, because it sure hadn't occurred to me, but it's 2009, which means it's nearly time for the turn of the decade. Crazy, huh?

Why do I bring this up?

The Census Bureau is one of the few employers out there that actually seems to be doing some hiring -- A LOT of hiring. My chosen industry is one of the ones that's doing some hard-core suffering in these times of economic uncertainty. I've been more than a little concerned as to whether I'll still be employed come time for my birthday in July.

This is my official back-up job now, I think. It's a little random, but hello? The once-a-decade Census count! That's like, so important. How else are we going to divvy up the House of Representative population? Or know that my hometown is the 18th largest city in the U.S.? (And 18 is my favorite number, so how about that?)

Search for jobs here, if you're interested.

'80s music: it happens sometimes

Modern Friends, the Modern Gal has been terrible to you. Not only have I been a lazy blogger (meaning busy in real life) this week, but I neglected to officially wish you all a happy Valentine's Day. I blame Comcast and its lack of internet service at my house yesterday.

So instead, I wish you a happy day-after Valentine's Day. Had I posted yesterday, I would have offered you this:


So how did all of you spend your Saturday? Anything fun or terrible happen?

I have to say, I had a lovely day. I spent the afternoon at work and had a fairly easy shift, for which I'm grateful. After that, my date for the night and I grabbed a pizza at my favorite Knoxville establishment (Jay, I believe you planted that thought in my head). The wait was only about five minutes, only half of the diners there seemed to be on real dates and the pizza was delicious.

That's when the evening took a fortuitous turn.

We decided to walk across the square to a favorite local pub to grab a few beers. We were sitting there chatting when in walked a lady with a side ponytail wearing a red sequined gown that looked like it had seen much, much better days. 'Wow," I said. 'She's really getting into the whole Valentine's Day thing." And then in came a dude in what appeared to be a 30-year-old tux. Then a few minutes later, I kid you not, Boy George walked in. Ok, not really Boy George because I think he's banned from the U.S. for some reason, but someone who did a damn good job of looking exactly like him.

I was starting to get suspicious when my companion noticed a poster on the wall: Feb. 14: The White Cosbys. Tacky '80s Prom Night. What followed was a setlist that included 'How Deep is Your Love,' 'Karma Chameleon' (hence the presence of Boy George), 'Love is a Battlefield,' 'Take On Me,' 'Right Here Waiting' 'and countless other songs that you're afraid to admit you know the words to, unless you're me. There was also lots and lots of bad '80s fashion (but plenty of normally dressed folks, so we weren't, you know, out of place.)

Modern Friends, it was as if every star in the sky aligned and the Universe decided I needed to have a great night.

Much has been made here at The Modern Gal about my taste (or lack thereof) in music, so I won't remind you, but HOLY CRAP, '80s MUSIC! AND OTHER PEOPLE WHO EMBRACE IT! I've attended many an '80s dance party in my time, but I don't think '80s music and fashion has ever just happened to me like that. And I hadn't scared away my prom date by the end of the night, so you know, bonus.

Here's my parting gift to you ... and yes, The White Cosbys played this too, but we East Tennesseans don't ever feel ashamed about loving our Dolly:

The subtle art of The Simpsons open

The Simpsons goes HDTV for the first time tonight and will do an extended main title open. Enjoy ...

Timeout for a brief complaint

Earlier this week I got my annual Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition in the mail. I looked at the front and back covers and decided I'd had my fill. (That Green M&M sure is looking hot.)

I'm not going to be one of those gals who bitches that such things objectify women and are out of touch with today's values. If an attractive gal wants to pursue tugging at her bikini strings to make a little cash, that is certainly her decision to make and not mine. 

Alls I'm saying is where's my swimsuit edition, SI? How hard would it be to put a couple of baseball players in Speedos? Yes, I know we got the Phelps cover a few months back -- and that was good. Very, very good. But the theme of nearly naked hot dudes did not continue past the front cover. 

Gipped, I say.

(I'm also still holding it against you, SI, the fact that your gift for subscribing was an XXL NFL fleece.)

Best in Show

I missed the Westminster Dog Show the other night, but I've poured through the pictures. I'm not a huge fan of spaniels, but Stump is pretty dang cute (though not as cute as Uno), and it's good to see the old farts getting some love.

Here's a good photo gallery from Sports Illustrated. I especially love the Pulis.

In defense of Valentine's Day

Even before Modern Allie left her fantastic comment on my Monday post about Valentine's Day, I was still planning a preachy post about the day. Well, guess what? You get the preachy post anyway. Please note, you're allowed to disagree with me here.

So I should be complaining about the impending reminder that my boyfriend and I broke up and I'm lacking a bit in the romantic love department while every who isn't lacking puts their love on parade for me to see, right?

'Eh,' I say, while shrugging.

Once upon a time, I was all into bashing Valentine's Day -- or Singles' Awareness Day, as I so proudly proclaimed with the rest of my single brethren. The aforementioned high school sweetheart had dumped me like three days before V-Day, presumably so he wouldn't have to participate. 'Boys suck,' I said, declaring myself through with them for good. Glad that feeling didn't last too long.

But, I've learned a very important lesson about Valentine's Day in the years since. The years that I had a boyfriend to spend the day with, the celebration of Valentine's Day was usually just ok. A few years it was GREAT! But most of the time it was good but nothing special. Sure, it was nice to go out for a nice dinner or get pretty flowers, but I never felt any different about my loved one on that day compared to any other day of the year.

You know what Valentine's Days I remember most fondly? The one I spent with some of my best gal pals, eating Thai food and drinking ourselves silly. Or the one spent with the Wednesday Night Dinner group -- five gals and one guy (lucky him) -- spent eating good food and laughing our heads off. You know what Valentine's Day gift I've treasured most? The silly rainbow colored stuffed lion my mom gave me many years back that's still squished between the windshield and dashboard of my car.

And here's the lesson: Valentine's Day is best spent when it's celebrating just plain ol' love. Familial love, friendship, romantic love, the love I have for my Lucydog (I think that's what's called unconditional love?), whatever. Why should it be exclusive to romantic love and flowers? According to Wikipedia, it's Chaucer's fault for some reason, which is a shame because I love his work otherwise.

This year I'm celebrating the love everyone has shown me in the past two months when I've needed it the most, and I've had no problems getting into Valentine's Day. I had so much fun picking out a card for one of my single gal pals. I can't wait to open my mom's Valentine's goody box that just came in the mail today. Or the card that arrived bearing Lucy's name on the return address (she has mysteriously similar handwriting to my mother's -- and without thumbs!). And I'm spending Saturday evening, yes, with a guy friend so we can have some fun instead of moping about the fact that we're single. (Which, by the way, there were some great suggestions for activities. I appreciate all them all very much).

You know what all of that is a recipe for? A Valentine's Day that I might count among the most memorable.

There's also one other kind of love to remember on Valentine's Day. One that makes all those other kinds of loves possible. One that Modern Whitney proudly proclaimed as the greatest of all. Sing it with me now ...



Don't lie. You know you love that song.

Ok, I'm off my heart-shaped soapbox for now.

Let's just play ball

I'm sure those of you who are baseball fans to the degree that I am, are well-familiar now with the A-Rod on 'Roids bit that came out earlier this week.

Now, don't get me wrong, there's no love lost between myself and Alex Rodriguez, but honestly, I had the same reaction as this guy. Who isn't on steroids? And who cares? I mean, besides the president.

Yes, I hate that major league baseball players are taking steroids. We all know Mark McGuire of my beloved Cardinals was among them, and boy did that break my heart. But seriously, like the writer of that column, I'm plum out of outrage. This happened six years ago. Can't we just start anew? Testing for everybody, right now. Your past sins are forgiven but you better not be juicing now.

Spring training can't come fast enough (two weeks and counting).

Really, the only thing I'm wondering is if Madonna has anything to say about A-Rod's, ahem, performance.

Starbucks and value in the same sentence?

I don't frequent Starbucks unless I'm on the road and it's convenient, but I am glad to see it's getting over itself a bit after struggling some recently.

Starbucks is creating its first value menu, although in true Starbucks fashion it's not going to be called anything that hints of the 'value' sentiment. Instead it's a 'pairing' program, where food and drink items are paired for less than $4.

Still, it's enough of a price cut to possibly get me stopping by more. That is, until that Dunkin' Donuts they're building around the block from my house opens up in a few weeks.

A hypothetical V-Day

I've done my best not to think about Valentine's Day, but thanks to the riptide of e-mails I've gotten from assorted retail chains promoting their Valentine's Day specials for, oh, I don't know, the PAST MONTH, it's been kind of hard not to.

I would have had little problem staying in on V-Day night had it fallen any other night of the week but Saturday, but because the Universe has a ridiculous sense of humor (although I don't always seem to find the same things funny as it does), my first V-Day in several years as a freshly minted single gal falls on a Saturday. And the combined effect of staying in on a Saturday that also happens to be Valentine's Day is just a whole lotta lame.

More on my V-Day thoughts in a future post, but let's just ask -- hypothetically, of course -- were a modern gal to ask out a modern guy whose company she enjoys for a night of G-rated fun, what kind of activities would she engage in?

I know you're all going to want to ask follow-up questions. Let me just say I don't have the answers. Discuss anyway.


From Modern Angie, who will always be my No. 1 Valentine

Recharging the battery

I had a bit of a rough week last week at work and needed a weekend and a bit of a blogcation to clear my brain. I apologize for my absence, but assure you that life is much better now.

My weekend was exactly what I needed. I knocked out some chores which I'd neglected as I worked 10 hours of overtime in the span of three days. I went to see Revolutionary Road with a friend (the acting was good, the overall film was decent, just very, very heavy and not quite the right thing to see after a tough week). I went to church. And I hiked ...
From the top of House Mountain near Knoxville

Lucydog takes in the view

I passed a couple near the peak of the trail who told me, 'Oh! There's a monkey up there.' I thought they were crazy. Apparently they were not.

Here's to a better week!

The making of Barbie

Sorry for the lack of posting in the past two days. After a spectacularly craptastic week at work (don't worry, I'm fine) and 10 hours of overtime over a three-day period, I've needed a bit of a mental break. I hope to get back to regular posting tomorrow.

In the mean time, here's an interesting and weird photo feature for the modern gals: The making of Barbie. Make sure you flip between the different galleries, which show some of the Barbie fashions and models. I admit, I had a rather large Barbie collection, but it was balanced out by my love of Legos and Matchbox cars.

Ascellation: I has it

It has been a spectacularly crappy week at work for me, and to keep from totally losing it, I've spent some quality time every night with my TV and How I Met Your Mother. If there's anyone who can cheer me up, it's Barney and the gang.

Did everyone see this week's episode? With the part about Barney's made-up words? (They're supposed to help you get hired for a job). Here's a clip.

Well, Barney -- who's also a fan of the motivational posters -- would love the Inspiratomatic, a motivational poster generator. Every click of the button generates a new poster with a new made-up word.

Here's mine:


Yes, there are definitely times I feel like a loser in disguise.

An appreciation

I woke up this morning earlier than I intended to and laid in bed for a while trying to talk myself into getting myself up and ready for work, already knowing it was going to be one of those days. I had just about worked up the motivation when my phone ring ...

"I have some really bad news ... (Name Redacted) had a heart attack last night and passed away."

He was a work colleague. Not a terribly close friend, but close enough. Only 47 years old. Very, very close to his wife. A devout Kentucky Wildcats fan. One of those guys you feel like you just know. Always around to chat with or just provide a smile whether or not it was needed.

Just yesterday I stopped at his desk, and we were joking about wasting the work hours away on Facebook and how it's such a great tool to reconnect with so many old friends.

Now his Facebook status is stuck on Monday: "(Name Redacted) is spending his day off spring cleaning and watching a beautiful snow out the window!" On his wall, notes his friends and colleagues have left to wish him Godspeed and thank him for the memories. One particularly beautiful passage from another colleague:

Life is eternal, and love is immortal,
and death is only a horizon;
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
~Rossiter Worthington Raymond

What I'm trying to say is remember to appreciate who you've got before they're gone.

You'll be missed, friend.

Make the most out of your food

It's really hard to remember the different benefits of eating different kinds of foods. I mean, we all know carrots=good eyesight (I'm screwed), but what is it that's so dang great about cranberries and their antioxidants?

Foodproof to the rescue. It's got a handy chart linking benefits to different kinds of power food. Need some brain food for a big project? There's a list of 20 different kinds (try pita bread with hummus).

Would you believe pound cake helps improve digestion and sleep? I think I'll be hitting it heavy tonight.

Celebrating

Today I'm celebrating a month of being single.

I'm celebrating the many people and things that have made me smile this month. Or even better, the ones that have made me laugh.

I'm celebrating that I've been reminded that I have friends and lots of them. Even some who surprise me.

I'm celebrating the inspiration those friends can provide through their words.

I'm celebrating that I've managed to bounce back from the pain, bitterness and emptiness to keep my heart open and hope for better. And I keep bouncing back, ever time there's a setback.

I'm celebrating a second chance.

Now put your hands up!

Modern gal KG and I are dear friends because she and I share a love for what's important in life: Beyonce, Justin Timberlake and well-choreagraphed dance sequences.

KG found this little gold nugget: President Obama is down with the Single Ladies. John Legend was using a personal video recorder to capture the moment of being on stage for the inauguration and caught a little interaction with the prez and Beyonce. (Fast forward to about 6:40 in unless you want to bask in John Legend's adorableness.)

And if you need a little help flipping your hand the way our Commander in Chief does, then Entertainment Weekly has a Single Ladies primer.

Seriously, Single Ladies is the gift that keeps on giving. Am I right?

In other late-breaking inaugural news from KG, the Smithsonian wants Aretha's hat because, duh, it's a national treasure. What does the Queen of Soul have to say about it? “I am considering it. It would be hard to part with my chapeau since it was such a crowning moment in history.”

We're sure she means Obama's inauguration.

A rather satisfying Super Bowl

I'd say that was a successful Super Bowl, wouldn't you? I watched the game at a party hosted by a couple of Steelers fans, so out of respect for the hosts (and the fact that they were feeding us :) I rooted for Pittsburgh. Really, I'm just glad it turned out to be a hell of a game. There's nothing worse than a boring Super Bowl.

And um, hello? Bruce Springsteen's crotch? Yeah. At least we modern gals got a little somethin' somethin' in this Super Bowl halftime show malfunction.

The commercials turned out to be decent, despite the toned-down nature. I kind of like the fact that there was some commercial downtime that gave me a chance to snatch another beer or yummy snack. You can watch them all on Hulu.

My favorites:



The small animal abuse was hilarious. And every time it happened, it was still just as funny. And the koala had glasses and a cup of coffee! What's not funny about that?



Maybe it's my love of the Potato Heads, but freakin' hilarious!



Love the update on an old classic. And so fitting with Troy Polamalu.


All of the cutesy-wootsy V-day jewelry commercials are pissing me off. This one, on the other hand, is perfect.

What was your Super Bowl highlight?

Football? Super-dee-dooper

So I've had a really, really hard time getting jazzed about this Super Bowl, but I don't think I'm the only one. I totally forgot about the big game until a few days ago. (Seriously, what is wrong with me?) I stopped watching football when my beloved Titans lost in the AFC Divisional Championship game. And when I say lost, I mean they beat themselves, thus removing themselves from the playoffs. I'm still very, very angry about it.

Anyway, I don't really know which team to root for. I think I could justify being happy for either team. Supporting Pittsburgh would mean following the rules of sports fandom: team first, league second. Sure, the Steelers are sort-of rivals of the Titans, but they're not rivals of the Indianapolis or Baltimore variety. So were they to win, yay for AFC superiority.

And the Cardinals, well, they obviously get the underdog vote of support. Plus they share a name with my favorite baseball team and once shared a city with that team, so yay for redbird solidarity.

What to do? I guess I'll have a beer or two and some snacky food and try to figure it out.

In the mean time, here's a commercial teaser to get you ready: